I’ll never forget it: I was eighteen, at a bass lesson one morning with my neighbor who used to be the music teacher at our high school but had since started teaching at our local university. Not only did he tell me I’ll never be a good jazz player because of “the color of your skin” (an actual quote (he was white too)), but he told me I would never make All-State Jazz Band for the wonderful state of New Hampshire in the Year of Our Lord 1999 (a most blessed and cursed year). “I just had my other student in before you,” he said (I’m paraphrasing now), “and he had a great lesson. I mean, just spectacular. He kicked your ass.” This other kid played an actual, honest-to-God double-bass—obviously, he was a truly serious jazzer—while I had a simple electric which, to be fair, was a Fender Jazz.
I remember I became the best student in my class only out of spite for the two or three girls who took high grades, due to certain bad dynamics that had developed and that I didn't like at all. Wanting to win against someone you disapprove of is an underrated source of strength and willpower. I don't think it's bad unless you actually commit acts that are bad.
It's a totally underrated source of strength! And yes, one must be careful that spite does not cause one to do evil. But doing good out of spite? Now you're talking!
I remember I became the best student in my class only out of spite for the two or three girls who took high grades, due to certain bad dynamics that had developed and that I didn't like at all. Wanting to win against someone you disapprove of is an underrated source of strength and willpower. I don't think it's bad unless you actually commit acts that are bad.
It's a totally underrated source of strength! And yes, one must be careful that spite does not cause one to do evil. But doing good out of spite? Now you're talking!